Slag and Snarl: Hooked on a Feelin'
by Starscream's Mishap
Summary: Grimlock and company try learning to march.


**Ooga cha-ca ooga ooga ooga cha-ca **

**Ooga cha-ca ooga ooga ooga cha-ca**

**Ooga cha-ca ooga ooga ooga cha-ca**

**Ooga cha-ca ooga ooga ooga cha-ca...**

"What in the name of Primus is THAT?" Kup put down the datapad Ultra Magnus had just handed him and hurried for the door. "What kind of noise...oh no. Ultra Magnus, you HAVE to see this!"

**I can't stop this feelin' **

Hot Rod saw them pass by and cracked up.

**deep inside of me...**

Springer halted his lazy walk and stared while Arcee waved. Daniel ran to follow but Grimlock shooed him away. "This for us Dinobots!"

**girl you just don't realize**

Blaster turned around midstride to correct. "Slag, you're on the wrong foot! Start on your LEFT!"

"You worse than dance teacher!" the Dinobot replied. "She say start with right!" He referred to another Dinobot activity they had tried as a subgroup. Grimlock, in his obsession to keep them as a conglomerated clique, loved making them do things together with their teammates, no matter how silly they looked. Some said he began this frenzied fixation the day Optimus left for Cybertron.

Snarl liked the dancing better, since Sludge had been his main partner for that. Sludge was his favorite best friend of all the Dinobots. "This not as much fun as dancing," whined Snarl at the same time as Slag's complaints. "Me want to stop!"

**what you do to me**

"HUSH!" yelled Grimlock. "Us Dinobots army! Us march!"

"Whatever it is, you need to do it outside," Ultra Magnus commanded over the noise. Blaster nodded.

"Dinobots, outdoors!"

**When you hold me **

**In your arms so tight,**

**You let me know,**

**Everythings alright, ****I'mmm, I'mmm**  
**(Thump thump) **

Here the Dinobots hopped eagerly and paused to sing along.

**I'm hooked on a feeling,**

**I'm high on believing,**

**That you're in love with me  
(Claps)**

**(Thump thump)**

It was not the strangest sight in Autobot City (that particular distinction could not be repeated mixed company). Still, it was not everyday one could witness the Dinobots in robot mode, marching in pairs (except for Drum Major Grimlock) down the hall to Blaster's musical whims. When later asked about it, Blaster confessed that Sludge asked for that particular song because he liked to stomp along with the thumping part.

**Lips as sweet as candy.**

**Its taste stays on my mind.**

**Girl, you got me thirsty for another cup of wine.****  
**

A week later Kup drove over with Daniel to the field the Dinobots had annexed for this exercise. Daniel perched on a rock while Kup silently assessed their movements. "They're finally all on the same foot, but someone should teach them how to guide," he grunted.

"Guide?" asked Daniel.

"Basic rule of marching, kid. Make sure you're shoulders are lined up with the guy next to you to form a straight line. Your peripheral vision is supposed to help. In the Dinobot's case, they should twist their heads to line up, at least for now."

**Got a bug from you girl,**

**But I don't need no cure,**

**I'll just stay a victim, If I can be sure**

"I could've told you that," Hot Rod snorted a few days later as they watched Blaster, the Dinobots, and their new drill instructor Kup continue the spectacle. "When has Kup refused the chance to boss someone around?"

Arcee wasn't sure about that. The older mech was more of a guide than a boss, at least to her. Hot Rod must have had a different experience with him, one unlike hers. "Kup also said there was no way they could really truly march, since they can't do the roll-step marchers do."

"C'mon," Springer wheedled. "We could be doing something fun right now, instead of watching these weirdos try some crazy human walk." He transformed and offered Daniel a ride back. Daniel refused, stating he would come back with Kup, or Hot Rod, who agreed with this. Arcee followed Springer back to the city after giving Hot Rod a long backward glance.

**All the good love, when we're all alone**

**Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on.  
I'mmm, I'mmm (Thump Thump) Hooked on a feeling.  
**

"No! No! No! Sludge, you cannot stomp that hard! The ground breaks up and we ruin our formation!"

"Sorry," the Dinobot sheepishly lowered his head. Snarl raised his to meet Kup's face.

"Me Snarl no want to march! Me no want to hear you Kup yell at Sludge!"

Their impromptu instructor balked. "Maybe we should take a break," suggested Blaster, stopping the tape. "You guys have been at this for a long time." The Dinobots relaxed, some going for energon, some sitting in the shade, or in Snarl's case, transforming to allow his plates to collect sunlight. Sludge walked up to him, shadow behind him to allow Snarl's recharge to continue. After a few moments of awkward silence, Snarl asked him what he wanted. Still uneasy, Sludge fidgeted for a few moments.

"Me Sludge thank you Snarl for helping me."

Snarl looked uncomfortable with this notice. "It nothing. Like Grimlock say, us Dinobots best friends. Kup yell. Me Snarl no like yelling."

Sludge reached over and patted the Stegosaurus' flank appreciatively. When he turned to walk away, Snarl stood up, returned to robot mode and followed him.

**I'm high on believing **

**That you're in love with me.**

Kup clapped his hands eagerly, "Let's try this once more, then we'll go back to Autobot City. I have a treat for you guys."

"Whoo-hoo!" called Daniel eagerly. After some begging he had been allowed to join them, riding Grimlock's shoulder, and after a great deal of cajoling, an embarrassed Hot Rod marched with Grimlock to make three lines of two.

"What is it?" asked Slag, not falling for such a vague promise.

Kup smiled. "How does a parade sound?"

**(Claps, Thump, thump) Musical bridge **

"NO WAY!" Hot Rod left formation quickly. "There is NO WAY in Cybertron I'm gonna march in front of ANYONE! I did this for"- his optics rested on the child who sat on Swoop's shoulder. Both smiled at him. "–For...Daniel, not to show off!" Kup raised an arm to halt the mech's furious storming off.

"Calm down, nobody's going to make you do anything you don't want to do." He turned to the Dinobots. "Does a parade sound nice?"

"NO!" they yelled back. Blaster snickered. Hot Rod sighed in relief.

"All right then...what kind of treat do you have in mind?"

Grimlock put a thoughtful hand to his chin. "Let us Dinobots think about it."

**All the good love, (ooga cha-ca) when we're all alone**

**Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on.**

Daniel arrived late this time, due to Hot Rod's refusal to go anywhere near the Dinobot's practice field after the last 'threat.' Arcee demurred joining, claiming she would prefer merely being their audience. Today she got an earful. Slag and Snarl were sick of doing this, making every complaint and defiant growl they could. They used words Daniel didn't know existed. Arcee, in a moment of desperation to keep them happy, suggested they try another type of marching practice, one Carly had shown her tapes of during her high school days.

"Don't we need more people for that?" asked Blaster, wondering how he'd allowed himself to get into this mess. A Dinobot colorguard?

"There has been enough talk of what you guys have been up to. I'm sure I can get a couple of volunteers."

**I'mmm, I'mmm**** I'm (Thump thump) hooked on a feeling,**

"NO!" Hot Rod glared as Springer doubled over. "Are your diodes scrambled, Arcee? Where are you going to get anyone stupid enough to do that?"

Arcee's accompaniment felt the need to contribute. "Not to mention the materials." At Blaster's request Rewind had followed her on her campaign to keep a list of members handy. So far, no takers. "Arcee, we might be overreaching."

"I know. But they looked so excited..." Springer continued to laugh. "Are you going to help, or are you going to tick me off?"

"I'm, I'm sorry, honey." He couldn't stop. "The very thought of a bunch of Dinobots waving flags around to music-ahahahahahahaha!" Arcee left in an huff, embarrassed. He was right. She didn't know the first thing about those girls with the flags and rifles in the back of the band. She knew less of the Dinobots. What motivated them to do this?

**I'm high on believing,**

When she came over to them at their practice field the next day Arcee drew Grimlock aside to talk to her. Kup was pulling up at the same time.

"I couldn't get anyone interested. I'm sorry."

The Dinobot leader shrugged. "Us Dinobots hate flag idea anyway."

"Oh," she replied, relieved. "That's okay, Grimlock."

"We want to march," agreed Swoop.

"Some do," muttered Snarl. Sludge patted him on the back reassuringly. Snarl looked back and smiled slightly.

**That you're in love with me.**

"Left, left, left right left!" chanted Kup. Dust swirled around them as the well-trodden path was beaten by their large feet. Daniel coughed. Hot Rod handed him to Arcee, who passed him over to Springer, who set him down outside of their path.

They now marched in three rows of three: Grimlock, Swoop, and Slag in row one; Hot Rod, Arcee and Springer in row two; and Slag, Sludge, and Kup in row three. Kup watched them all with a hawk's eye.

"Who's idea was this?" Springer groused. How he got impressed into active duty was beyond his reasoning.

"No talking in ranks!" yelled Kup.

**I'm hooked on a feeling,**

Sludge sighed. This week, they had rearranged the rows to better learn to adjust to different bodies, and he was no longer with Snarl. He was not used to Hot Rod's giant spoilers. Grimlock leaned too far forward. The only body he was used to having next to him was Snarl's, and he wasn't near him anymore, thanks to Kup's eager attempts to make them all marching machines.

**and I'm high on believing,**

Snarl caught himself looking over at Sludge in the row behind him more often than usual. The shy Dinobot was a welcome presence over the others, who wanted to talk to him when all Snarl wanted to do was be by himself. The quiet Sludge being with him was almost as good. Unfortunately, today he was stuck between Kup and Swoop in this middle row, and Kup noticed when heads turned out of formation.

**That you're in love with me.**

"Us Dinobots want to talk to you Kup." Grimlock patted the grassy spot next to him. As the old soldier lowered himself he saw Blaster, Hot Rod, Arcee, Springer, and Daniel far away, watching the Dinobots sit in front of Kup and Grimlock. Sludge sat next to Snarl.

"Kup, me Grimlock bad at Optimus Prime talk stuff, so me say this now: us Dinobots sick of marching."

The old mech cleared his vocalizer and smiled at them shakily. "I'm glad you said that," he began, face saying otherwise. "I was kind of getting tired of it too. You know, I promised you a treat. How about I tell you that story you like to hear instead?" All five enthusiastically agreed.

**I said I'm hooked on a feeling,  
And I'm high on believing,  
That you're in love with me**

Sludge stood by the dusty path where they had spent so many days marching under the hot sun with a moment of nostalgia. Snarl was there, as well as Swoop and Slag and Grimlock.

"Kup lie," Snarl commented as the truck drove off with the others. "He hurt we want to stop."

Grimlock nodded. "He nice guy, so is Arcee. Tell good story. Bad liar." They shrugged.

Swoop smiled to himself. "Me get to know other Autobots. Sing song."

"Me Sludge like song. Like being with Dinobots. Had fun."

"Us Dinobots still together, us have fun now! Sing!" Snarl and Slag objected. Snarl glanced at Sludge's disappointed expression and changed his mind by beginning the song in his rusty voice.

"Ooga cha-ca Ooga ooga ooga cha-ca..." They began walking towards Autobot City, in step, in a perfect line, in lousy harmony. Sludge didn't care. It was fun. Snarl was next to him. Carefully, so as not to disrupt the rest of the line's formation, he slid his hand into Snarl's and squeezed his fingers.

Snarl squeezed back.

**I'm hooked on a feeling...**


End file.
